I meant to post this a few weeks ago, to celebrate the publication of Monster Hunter Alpha.  A day late, and sloppy, that’s me.

Anyway, congrats, Larry!  Here are the lyrics:

Monster Hunter Blues

Riding hummers ’round in rural counties
You burn a lot of diesel chasing bounties
You want to ride a horse?  Go join the Mounties
At MHI, a Hunter’s gotta drive

There’s an elf queen eating ho-hos in this trailer
She’s got a gift of sight that doesn’t fail her
Better keep your wits about you, sailor
Safety off, if you want out alive

I’ve got the vampire’s daughter here beside me
She sings a song of slaughter in her soul
The dogs of war are baying deep inside me
They’re saying that it’s time to rock and roll

Those uglies from the Church of the Condition
Come after me with monsters and magicians
I’m ready for ’em, muscle and munitions
I just don’t have the patience to be bait

I accidentally cheesed off some crustacean
I nuked him, ha!, he felt some irritation
Now I’m itching to pull out Abomination
’Round here it’s always hurry up and wait

Agent Franks, my minder, he’s a cold one
Sometimes I wonder if he’s got a soul
My brother got attacked, ogres and old ones
And I gotta watch my back, we’ve got a mole

Holly’s cut off three lanes of this highway
Skippy and his boys burn down the skyway
You’ll hit the road if you can’t play it my way
Yeah, Newbie, it’s alright to feel afraid

Grant’s up on the hill, I set the claymore
There’s really nothing left that I should stay for
But I kinda want to stick around and play more
I’m doing what I love and I get paid

This time you’re aiming higher than you ought to
The lines are down, there’s fire in the hole
I beat down that conquistador Machado
Yeah, I’m your matador…

But I’ve got the vampire’s daughter here beside me
She sings a song of slaughter in her soul
The dogs of war are baying deep inside me
They’re saying that it’s time to rock and roll

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