Bookshelf: Cold Slither

51L+EKjsXSL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_-1David J. West is Mormonism’s foremost disciple of Robert E. Howard. His HEROES OF THE FALLEN, for instance, is a Conanesque retelling of the late sections of the Book of Mormon, with nefarious sorcerers, dark conspiracies, and muscular heroes who win by being true to their rugged ethos.

West’s new volume, COLD SLITHER, is a collection of weird west tales about Mormon Danite and frontiersman Orrin Porter Rockwell. This is a Rockwell that is one part Clint Eastwood’s Man with No Name and one part Doc Savage. Blessed with immunity to bullet and blade, a keen shot, and most of all his childlike heart, Port faces monstrous flesh-eating birds, ancient blood-drinking Mexica gods, zombie plagues, and even Dagon, god of the deeps.

If you like stories about debutante balls and tea-drinking romance in Regency England, this may not be the book for you. If you enjoy tales of noble savages, cruel wizards, and bold adventure on the weird western frontier, give it a shot.

Posted in Bookshelf | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bookshelf: Out of Ordure

51PZcdDnG7L._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_Fey World Maintenance Services (FWMS) employs fairy specialists to keep our world running. Some of these fairies have sweet tasks — Bloomara is the fairy of blooming flowers, and Sugressa is the sugar fairy. Some fairies are not so lucky, for instance, Garbita, the fairy of trash.

And then there’s Fecanya. She’s the dookie fairy.

She gets by. Sure, her bad attitude lands her in counseling with FWMS’s satyr therapist, but that non-stop wisecracking mouth and cynical attitude make a pretty good shield against the messy day-to-day task of dealing with… leavings.

But when a sewage maintenance plant threatens to burst, and rival clans of apes get into a titanic flinging contest, Fecanya may have more on her… hands… than even she can deal with.

OUT OF ORDURE is book one of what promises to be a series, by writer and actor Ramón Terrell. So far, THE FAIRIES promises to be Tinkerbell, but for grownups. I can’t wait for the next one.

Posted in Bookshelf | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Bookshelf: The Wrong Side of Magic

Not many magical adventures begin with a sick cat.

Hudson’s sister Bonnie adopts a stray kitten that turns out to be poorly. Hudson dutifully offers ten dollars to help pay for a trip to the vet. When that turns out not to be quite enough, he finds himself chasing in Bonnie’s wake, begging her to be less embarrassing in her fundraising efforts.

Until, having raised over seventy bucks, Bonnie suddenly trades the money for a magic compass. This is still for the sake of the cat, of course, and the trade is only temporary. Charlotte — whose father prefaces his stage magic shows with the explanation that he’s an outcast wizard from the magical land of Logos — promises to take the compass back and return the money once Bonnie has used the compass to get to Logos and bring back some catflower, a panacea for cat ills that grows there.

As Hudson points out, this is, of course, utter nonsense.

But then Hudson takes the compass and finds himself suddenly in a forest so colorful, it makes him think of Candyland.

Janette Rallison’s The Wrong Side of Magic is a charming and breezy portal fantasy for middle readers. It has the confident logic of The Magic Treehouse, the queer otherworldliness of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, and a love of language and logic that puts it somewhere between Roald Dahl and Shel Silverstein. Highly recommended.

Posted in Bookshelf | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Witchy Eye: The First Map

IMG_0771

 

 

 

I just dug this out of a box today.

As epic fantasy novels are wont to do, WITCHY EYE started with a map. My son was being homeschooled at the time and his curriculum included this folding, laminated map of the United States. I started doodling on it with dry erase pens, asking myself the question what would America look like as an epic fantasy setting?

WITCHY EYE soon outgrew this map. For one thing, it has no dwarfs or trolls, and the “elves” are not very Tolkien-like. For another, the setting is much more complex than appears in this image, which doesn’t show the Hansa towns, or the Free Imperial Cities, and so on. But still, the bones are here.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Soldier’s Memories

“I have been deceived,” Bill whispered. “I thought the Dutch were great churchgoers.”

“Oh, yes?”

“Yes. I held the wall in Mobile with a crusty old Dutch sergeant named Harmonszoon. He named his gun Old Mortality, and he sat up there on the palisade with me and talked Bible the whole time. In between shooting at the Spanish, of course.”

“Of course.”

“One day I told him if he was going to quote the Bible all day, at least he could quote the parts with pretty girls in them.”

“Which parts are those?” Jacob Hop asked.

Bill shrugged. “Apparently, there aren’t any.”

Posted in Writing Sample | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Bookshelf: The Never Prayer

51Gxy9I7OLL._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_Lena’s parents are dead, gunned down in the act of trying to help a stranded motorist. She lives for her younger brother Jozey, and most of the time things go all right. At school, Lena manages to walk the line between the cool, rich, athletic Paladins and the poor goth Heretics, but “the boyfriend” (obligatory, not really emotionally attached) gets her into trouble when he asks her to be his mule on a short drug run.

As if Lena’s struggles to care for Jozey, navigate the school cliques, and now keep her head down during a police investigation weren’t enough, two new boys move to Avalon. Beels and Chael both meddle in Lena’s life and both attract her, but they are locked into a struggle between the two of them, a struggle that seems to have been going on for a long, long time.

Aaron Michael Ritchey is a Colorado mystic, an unabashed romantic, and a writer who likes to bring the feels. All those things shine through in The Never Prayer, a luminous tale of love, pain, drug dealing, and a young woman caught between an angel and a devil — and not always sure which is which.

Posted in Bookshelf | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Bookshelf: Dispocalypse

51jxTs+jgxL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_Five hundred years after a nuclear war, the American northeast is an area called the Forbidding. Ruled by the evil Lord Tan, the Forbidding regularly sends stalkers (eyeless, toxin-spitting former humans), werebits (perhaps a Monty Python nod — like rabbits, but with a gaping maws full of fangs), and other horrors over the immense concrete wall, created with the last resources of the old world, that separates the Forbidding from the Dominion.

In some ways, the Dominion is just as bad. At least it seems that way to young archer Willow, whose parents are both dead and whose memories include both recollections of her parents discussing the Dominion’s rot and also, strangely, memories of an earlier life as a high school student and taekwondo fighter at the time of the war.

Now Willow is off to the Academy, where she is expected to take girl classes (embroidery), not take boy classes (combat), and ultimately make a lifelong commitment to a profession to aid the collective. Drawing on her skills and native intelligence, as well as on the memories of her apparent former life, Willow carves her own path through the Academy, aiming at nothing less than revolution.

Dispocalypse is a Shannara-esque post-apocalyptic return of magic tale, rich with prophecy, redolent with the stink of evil, and vibrant with the undaunted clamors of a young woman who will not allow her will to be constrained. It walks a delightful line between science fiction and fantasy and delivers a tale sure to please readers looking for unusual adventure fiction.

Posted in Bookshelf | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bookshelf: Taliesin

51sIrVHvFPL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_Country music songwriters know this important fact about writing: you lead your readers to access the universal by bringing to vivid life the particular. The details matter, the small stories resonate, even — maybe especially — in this era of mass media.

Michael Collings’s Taliesin is on its face small-audience literature. This is a collection of sonnets, formal poetry, which already daunts some potential readers. More than that, these are poems that elliptically tell the life of Joseph Smith using Arthurian imagery. Many potential readers will pass on this book upon reading its subtitle.

And that is to their great loss, because these poems are beautiful. The narrator-poet is Taliesin, and he is sometimes convert to Arthur’s task, sometimes witness to triumphs and failures, and sometimes supplicant. He rejoices in the building of Camelot, grieves for its fall, and has visions of its millennial return. He serves with Arthur, he mourns his death, and he fears his own inability to make the earth-shattering sacrifice Arthur demands. These are songs of devotion, faith, crisis, and hope. They pointillistically narrate a psychic saga that is Mormon, Arthurian, American, and ultimately universal.

As it happens, we’re very excited to be hosting Dr. Collings at our house in September for a reading of his poetry. With any luck, we’ll get to hear some of Taliesin.

Posted in Bookshelf | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

On the Place d’Armes

The statue around which all this sweating, exerting, exhorting humanity swarmed was colossal. Rising from a square marble platform, it depicted two mustachioed men on horseback, each armed with a long pistol. One horse reared as its rider sighted and fired into the distance, west and upriver; the other plunged forward at a right angle toward Decatur Street and the Mississippi, its rider spurring its flanks and waving his gun in the air.

“I’m not surprised that in Appalachee they’re known as pirates,” Thalanes said. “But of course the people here are happy that Andrew Jackson’s ambitions were thwarted by Jean and Pierre Lafitte. Louisiana thinks of the Lafitte brothers as respectable militiamen and heroes. I believe Pierre owns a blacksmith shop, and Jean is still, as they say, on the account.”

“You mean he’s a pirate,” Sarah interpreted.

“But a respectable one,” Cal added.

“Well,” Thalanes said, “as I hear it, he mostly steals from the Spanish.”

Posted in Writing Sample | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Support the Pacification of the Ohio

Serve Your Emperor…
!! SUPPORT THE PACIFICATION OF THE OHIO !!
~ Join the Imperial Army Today ~
Dragoons : Musketeers : Grenadiers : Pikemen : Artillerymen
Bonuses Paid for Friends Recruited

Posted in Writing Sample | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment