Bookshelf: Terrifying Lies

41mAcZjiV5L._SX311_BO1,204,203,200_Craig Nybo remains the Norman Rockwell of American monster fiction, and this collection of his short stories proves it.

A Nybo story is usually about a small-town here. Often, the hero is from a blue-collar background: a trucker, a bus driver, a cop. Things go to hell, in a bad way. The Nyboesque protagonist organizes his or her community and applies practical know-how to get the job done. A Nyboesque hero doesn’t fret or go insane when it turns out that reality is fragile; she or he rolls up sleeves and does the necessary thing, often unsure of the greater cosmic order of things, but willing to stand up for what’s right and hope there’s a God to notice.

Many of the Terrifying Lies are zombie tales, and connect to Nybo’s Zombie Sing-a-Long collections (full disclosure; I play a bad guitar part on one of those CDs). Of these, my favorite is without a doubt “Blue Rinse and a Shotgun,” in which a pedophile returned in zombie form gets put to permanent rest by… the kind of a heroine who rinses her hair blue. But Nybo strays into broader territory, too, as in “Hostile Takeover,” in which invitation into the elite inner circle of a law firm’s partners entails going on commando raids against rival firms.

This is a satisfying and entertaining collection. I would like Hollywood to notice Craig Nybo — his stories are visual and action-packed, eminently filmable, and his heroes are always imperfect people worthy of emulation.

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Bookshelf: Death Has Come up into Our Windows

S51LeZnshSxL._SX311_BO1,204,203,200_tant Litore’s Zombie Bible is ancient Israelite history, with zombies. Stant’s academic background give these stories deep and sometimes mischievous resonance; his storytelling skills give them vivid human depth.

Death Has Come up into Our Windows is the first in the series. This slender volume is a retelling of the story of the navi Jeremiah that begins with his being lowered into the well and then is retold largely in flashback. We see his shock with fellow levites as they believe sacrificial worship will save them even as they throw children into the Tophet and Jerusalem descends into chaos, infested within by zombies and besieged without by foreign armies.

To my personal delight–and possibly reflecting Jeremiah’s origin in Anathoth, a town that seems to be named after the goddess Anat–Jeremiah perceives his God, the God of Israel, as a woman. The corrupt and blind levites he opposes definitely see their God as a man.

Subsequent books are set in other periods of Israelite history. This first volume gives a slim, colorful introduction worthy of the rest of the series.

 

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Serpentspawn Depredations

SERPENTSPAWN DEPREDATIONS

~ The Pacification of the Ohio Continues ~

Cahokia. Good men and true in the service of HIS IMPERIAL MAJESTY, THE EMPEROR THOMAS PENN, are murdered! Honest men have died with their throats cut in their sleep!! their bodies torn as if by Animals!! Insurgents ~ such as the Much Despised Ophidian Knights ~ claim that the crimes are the acts of feral Beast-Kind, who have recently been very Agitated, but loyal citizens are not fooled, & HIS IMPERIAL MAJESTY is said to be sending further troops from Free Imperial Youngstown & from Pittsburgh to Reinforce the Forces of order & good administration.

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Bookshelf: Helen & Troy’s Epic Road Quest

517NW9Z3dtL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_Helen & Troy’s Epic Road Quest is Percy Jackson written for adults with ironic senses of humor.

Helen is a minotauress, with the usual challenges: she’s big, she’s awkward, she breaks things, she sheds. Troy is her annoyingly perfect (although, in a knowing nod to the movie convention that identifies the hero by showing him petting the dog early in the film, Troy dislikes dogs) coworker at a fast food restaurant. When their manager, a middle-aged elf, tries to sacrifice Helen to his dark ancient god (incarnated in a puddle of hamburger) and gets himself destroyed instead, the god turns on Helen and Troy and imposes on them a quest to gather an unspecific number of ancient relics and take them to an unidentified place of power.

If this sounds like an irreverent smart-ass send up of fantasy and mythology, it is. If it sounds hilarious, yeah, it’s that as well. Our heroes get tangled up with a Men in Black-style magical agency, an orc named Nigel Skullgnasher on his own god-commanded quest with his motorcycle club in tow, and a series of obstacles that will ultimately lead them to … somewhere. Maybe.

The setting is an epic fantasy version of Bob Dylan’s Old, Weird America, with funhouse rides and gas-guzzling convertibles and dead-end towns in the middle of the Nevada desert. Readers of fantasy, humor fans, and connoisseurs of America alike should all love this book.

 

 

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Bookshelf: Finn Fancy Necromancy

61KPdumaXvL._SX329_BO1,204,203,200_Phineas “Finn” Gramaraye is released from twenty-five years’ arcane imprisonment in the Other Realm wondering whether his subscription to Columbia Records’s tape-buying program has continued, and he now owes the company ten thousand dollars. An immediate attack from an antagonist disguised as one of magic’s “Enforcers” shows him he has bigger problems.

Such as how to be a fifteen-year-old child of the 80s in the body of a forty-year-old in the new millennium. Or finding out who framed Finn for dark necromancy and sent him to prison in the first place. Like discovering who tried to kill him on his release, and badly wants to frame him for more crimes to send him back. And like investigating his own family — because Finn gets repeated hints that the Gramaraye family business is something more sinister than mere necromancy.

Finn Fancy Necromancy lives in the space between 80s nostalgia, magical PI thriller, and comic fantasy. It’s the Dresden Files meets the Addams Family, and hilarious.

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Witchy Eye: Calvin Was a Corn Reader

“Cal’s already had a ministry of sorts,” Sarah said.

“No I ain’t.”

“Now you’re jest bein’ modest.” Sarah turned to the monk to explain. “Calvin here was a corn reader.”

Was,” Cal said immediately. “Was a corn reader. I got the New Light now.”

Thalanes furrowed his brow, then smiled. “You mean… you read to people’s crops?”

“No harm in it, I reckon. I ain’t sayin’ I drove away evil spirits or nothing’. Jest readin’ a little Gospel of John o’er a planted field, and if the farmer wanted to give me a little something for it, who’s the worse?”

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Bookshelf: Myth-Fits

51hhBOk03FL._SX318_BO1,204,203,200_The Myth Adventures have always been my comic fantasy of choice**. Discworld and Xanth have their places in my affection, but I always cracked up the most to the adventures of Skeeve, Klahd (human) magician, and Aahz the Perv (that’s Perv-ECT, not perv-ERT; he’s a wisecracking scaly tough guy–think Hellboy, without the prophetic weight). Together these two found M.Y.T.H., Inc., a cross-dimensional private-detective-and-odd-jobs agency and have… mythadventures.

Robert Asprin wrote the first of these books; Jody Lynn Nye joined him as co-author; and now Jody carries on the series in its inimical riotous style.

In MYTH-FITS, the latest, M.Y.T.H., Inc. is hired to find the legendary Loving Cup, reputed to make two parties come to permanent agreement. The job leads them to the resort dimension of Winslow, where piercing the perfect surface of leisure and fun, the team faces bureaucratic obfuscation, cheerfully bloodthirsty executioners, and multiple rival teams engaged by their same employer.

Skeeve and Aahz begin to suspect the fix is in.

Myth-Fits is hilarious, pun-driven fun in the best tradition of humorous fantasy.


** I also love Platte F. Clark’s BAD UNICORN and sequels, which are middle reader books, and so in a slightly different category.

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Bookshelf: The Iron Thane

A410-BExfiuL._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_fter the fall of Macbeth (yes, that Macbeth), Scotland is left with a young, conniving, and ineffectual king in the form of young Malcolm. Macduff, the Thane of Fife and man born of no woman, finds himself a relic of the old world, with no obvious place in the new. Fearful of his Thane’s heroic code, bluff charisma, and martial prowess, Malcolm tries to have Macduff killed, despite the latter’s assurance that he wants nothing better than to leave Scotland.

But fate has other things in store for the Thane of Fife. The Erl-King, ancient prince of hell and devourer of the souls of human children, has decided he wants to kill the humans . . . all of them . . . starting with Scotland. He begins with the Land Fit for Heroes because he has a half-mortal son there, and as he drops an impenetrable wall of fog around Scotland and invades it with his Darkling hordes, he also kidnaps his son and tries to win him over.

So with an unlikely collection of allies natural and supernatural, Macduff once again has to take a stand on behalf of his land.

The Iron Thane begins a folkloristic epic fantasy series that is both vigorous action story-telling and also literary in scope, drawing in Shakespeare, Goethe, and other early modern and older sources to form a potent and unforgettable brew.

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Witchy Eye: Iron Andy’s Reputation

“I ain’t afraid. I jest don’t relish gittin’ my tongue cut out, and havin’ my fingernails torn off, and bein’ hung from a tree by my own guts. They say he crucified people in the Ohio Forks War. They say he took scalps. They say he’s the one as killed George Washington, stabbed him in the heart in his sleep with Washington’s own sword.”

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Witchy Eye: Real-World Christian Grimoires

511LOFhlhcL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_One of the fun things about writing my epic blackpowder fantasy WITCHY EYE (Baen, forthcoming) and now its first sequel (WITCHY WINTER) has been exploring real-world ideas about magic. It turns out, for instance, that right into the nineteenth century (at least), there have been many people who have thought of themselves as good (and maybe even superior, in an esoteric sense) Christians and who practiced magic.

And their spellbooks are still in print.

Francis Barrett’s The Magus contains parabiblical stories of the sort you expect to read in Schneemelcher’s collection of New Testament Apocrypha or Charlesworth’s Pseudepigrapha. We read that Adam brought the Philosopher’s Stone (that’s right, the one in Harry Potter, at least in the UK edition, before editors assumed Americans wouldn’t get it) out of Eden after the Fall. We are told about the importance for a magus of living a strictly moral life right alongside diagrams of astrological medallions, esoteric alphabets, and 51iPLEEef8L._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_flat-out spells (want to silence barking dogs? put a dried dog’s tongue in your shoe; want to compel a women (sic!) to tell the truth? lay a whole frog’s tongue over her breastbone while you interrogate her).

One of the biggest ethnic groups in the US is and has been German (that’s less obvious than it used to be, because over the course of two world wars, some German-Americans anglicized their names). And one of the most wildly popular grimoires of the nineteenth century was a German spellbook in the braucher tradition call Der Lange Verborgene Freund (The Long-Lost Friend), by immigrant and wizard Johann George Hohman.

The line between the Friend’s spells and prayers is often hard to find. Saints are invoked, morality is enjoined, and letters are written to heaven by wizards of faith who are willing to try to invoke celestial aid. A braucher or hexenmeister is a healer and a benevolent figure in the community, and not a warlock.

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